tHe UnReAlIsTic CrUsH ii


“…We had become joined at the hip, and this time, I knew without a doubt that she was going to be my girlfriend the moment I asked. She travelled for a while and next I heard, she was engaged to be married to someone from Uganda. Eh …

I was on the verge of losing my mind. Narkie did not just take my money; she took my time, my resources. In fact, she took away my heart to marry someone else; I was finished!

I wouldn’t allow it to end this way. No, never. It would be unfair to let her off that easy without finding out why she did this to me. Even my best friend, Octavio, asked me to let it go; I refused.

Well, I followed Narkie to Uganda and stalked her there too; for a month. She lived with her husband in Mbarara, a town in the Western Region of the country. Don’t look at me like I’m crazy. I had to! I was broken hearted and needed answers!


The man was a multi-million dollar businessman and unhandsome (does that word even exist? Lol!). So she left me because I was not rich enough?

One morning, I gave her a call. She seemed amazed, pretending all was well. I kept my cool and requested for a meeting to which she happily agreed, telling me of a plush restaurant in town we could meet the next day at 6pm.

Eei but this girl paa? After spending my money and running away she still wanted to eat at a plush place? No problem.


I was at the restaurant an hour to time the next day, totally pumped; adrenaline coursing through my being like Usain Bolt getting ready for a 100 meter race. Perhaps we could arrange for something..anything she offered, I would gladly accept.

Narkie arrived at 6:05pm, dressed in a fitted knee-length dress and six-inch heels. In fact, I almost forgot the reason for the meeting because I was wowed by her beauty.

We sat and ate with her doing most of the talking. I was observing, waiting for the opportune moment to ask my question. Well it came; I did ask and I was in for the shock of my life.


“Eugene, I did nothing wrong…” she began “… I just saw you as someone I could lean on, a big brother and nothing else. Was it not you who forced yourself into my life? How was I to know you had any feelings for me?”

But  I freely offered you my services and my resources ” I said angrily. Before I could even finish the sentence Narkie asked “Who wouldn’t want a friend that gives free money and car rides as and when needed?”

You need not know the rest of the story because simply put, I was dumbfounded, mesmerized, flabbergasted; anything you could think of. I became like “kpanla” in light soup.  Herh! Nnipa y3 bad. With tears welling up in my eyes and without another word, I left her.

I packed my bags and returned to Ghana with my broken heart, condemned to no maintenance.


I never believed I could be found in Angela’s dilema. I actually didn’t see it happening, yet, it had. Angela, my cousin, met this guy in our third year of college who came to join her group for an assignment. She was the leader of the group at the time and did not think twice about letting him in because she was already in the clouds thinking of what a cute couple they would be.

Angela was so much into her fantasies; she did not bother finding out anything about him. She was giving this boy a lot of attention, trying to “chat” him up constantly.


One day, in a conversation with my roommate about how much my cousin liked this guy and hoped he would pay her some attention soon, my roommate just laughed and said, “Abeg, you be  the only stranger for this hostel ? Don’t you know he has a girlfriend? That girl he has been walking with all the time, Dorothy; Charlie, they have been dating for 4 years o?”

Angela was a mess when I spilled the beans. She did not want to let go but I clearly said to her, “How would you feel if you had another girl try to take away your boyfriend of 4 years?” I did not need to say anymore.

Don’t be taken aback. It can happen to anyone. A lot of people have had these kinds of “unrealistic crushes”. I daresay every one of us has.


We see people we like and wish we could spend the rest of our lives with them. Some of us fantasize, pray and ask for “signs”, and those with guts will just go ahead anyway to take what they want.

Get to know people; know their happy, angry, sad, frustrated moments etc. Basing judgments on just one aspect of a person would not be fair; give it time. Again, when you realise people you are attracted to are out of your reach, let them be, do not force it; let them go.

Bear in mind that some things are worth fighting for, others are not.

In my case, Narkie did not give me a broken heart. Maybe she did, but I think I brought it upon myself. If I had just given it time, just a little more time, I would not have ended up hurting myself in such a manner.


To those who ask for a sign, when we pray about people and start seeing them in our dreams, let us not just jump to conclusions that these people we’ve seen are “the one”.

Seek counsel from the right persons, pray and ask for a clear explanation; give it time. We assume so much that sometimes we lose relationships that would very much have turned out to be great businesses or associations. Inasmuch as God answers prayers, the devil answers prayers too. Well…

These “unrealistic crushes”, we will always have them. And it is very important to note that, for every single one of them we’ve had, there’s something valuable taught us. It is therefore up to us to translate whatever it is we have learnt, negatively or positively.

A wise young woman I know said, “for every ‘UNNECESSARY’ person that comes into our lives, God is trying to teach us a ‘NECESSARY LESSON’ and it is very INTENTIONAL.”


©2017 Naema

Kpanla- A type of fish commonly used in Ghana and Nigeria

Nnipa y3 bad – People are bad

Herh! – an expression used when in a state of shock or surprise


4 Comments Add yours

  1. Steve says:

    UnReAlLiStIc CrUsH ampa………It truelly happens

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Penelope says:

    Unrealistic crush ampa,
    Great piece

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Naema says:

      Thank you Penelope 😘😘😘


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s